Women.

All for now kiddos.

Socially Awkward Story Time!

These may or may not be true... you be the judge.

at Subway
Cute girl at the cash register is really polite
Her:"Thank you enjoy your meal"
Me:"you too"
fumble my change and receipt
drop a few coins
people behind me in line
walk out feeling like an idiot and leave change on floor.
>
Cute girl in line in behind me
"Hey, how are you doing?"
oh fuck conversation
"Oh, I'm good, and you?"
"That's good, are you busy this Saturday?"
"I, don't think so"
She points to ear
Wearing bluetooth headset
It all makes sense
Drop my items and put my hands in pockets
Immediately leave store
>
My only friend forces me to go to a party
I sit in a corner and chainsmoke, trying to get drunk fast
People sit down around me and start talking to each other
A girl tries to start a conversation with me
I nod and reply to her questions, trying my very best to keep eyecontact
We "speak" for about half an hour
pretty one-sided convo but I feel great anyway
Later overhear the girl laughing that I kept staring at her tits
"Oh that guy over there? He's weird"
Sneak out while nobody sees me and go home
puke from smoking and drinking too much
>
At party, lay jacket across back of chair.
Girl sits in chair.
Stick around in corner not talking to anyone.
Wait for girl to leave before getting jacket.
Take jacket home and smell it all night.
>
At a strip club
receiving lap dance
making eye contact
feeling like a boss
cellphone vibrates
reach out for cellphone by reflex
somehow I manage to slap both her tits with the strength of a thousand viking warriors while trying to reach for cellphone
lapdance over
>
paying for gas at gas station
cashiers hand brushes mine as i give her my cash
she wants to fuck
>
at school
follow girl up the stairs
staring at her ass
she turns around and notices me staring
gives me a dirty look
she wants to fuck
>
eating with bros at restaurant
order water for free refills
finish first glass and ask for refill
hot waitress comes to table
accidentally grabs my hand instead of my cup
she wants to Fuck
>
need a new jacket
drive down to the mall
find a nice jacket store
happily look through the selection they have
associate walks up and asks if i'm finding everything ok
she wants to fuck
>
at gas station
get some delicious spicy sweet chilly doritos
get a vanilla coke
"Sir would you like a bag"
she wants to fuck
>
walking to 7/11
at red light
Old lady:"young man will you help me accross the street?"
she wants to fuck
>
wake up tuesday morning
drag myself to work
go to starbucks in lobby for a pick me up
order drink
whip cream on it when i asked for plain
barista wants to fuck
>
Hanging around waiting to go to school
Bus still hasn't shown up even though it was supposed to be there like 10 mins ago
Thinking i missed it
fuck i can't miss school again my dad is gonna kick my ass
Suddenly my friends pull up in a car offering a ride
notice crush in back seat with only open seat next to her
akwardly say "I don't know what seat i should take"
realize i can't get in the car because my friends aren't old enough to drive
realize I'm rebecca black
kill myself

Good God.

Dark Knight Cast Finalized.

According the comicbookmovie.com Nolan has cast Marion Cotillard and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Talia al Ghul and Roman Sionis respectively.

>http://www.comicbookmovie.com/news/?a=30217

I was hoping that Nolan wouldn't cast anymore Inception actors. Oh well. JGL as the Black Mask? Maybe we will get Ellen cast next. Notsureifwant.

Christian Bale vs. Inception

The Music Industry is in the Shitter.

After witnessing the atrocity known at the Grammy Awards last night I realized the world is a very scary place. I am extremely afraid of what my future son/daughter will grow up idolizing. It seems that 90% of today's music is auto tuned and lip synced live. Lady Gaga will never be Madonna or Marilyn Manson her songs are uninspiring and she is cashing in on the gay community. She credited Whitney Houston for inspiring her to write her song "Born This Way". Hopefully Whitney Houston put down the crack pipe long enough to have a puzzled look on her face. I would like a pair of those demon horns and shoulder blades though... They would come in handy when I wanted to headbutt and shoulder check hipsters in midtown.

--Getty Images

I was scanning back and forth between the Grammy's and a VH1 Lemmy Documentary. Needless to say Lemmy is a true artist/rockstar. I'm sure Mick Jagger arrived in a fancy limousine and stayed at a 5 star hotel... while Lemmy is probably hanging out in his garage writing his next album. I will give Mick some credit however, he does put on a good show for someone pushing 70.

Could someone explain how "Need You Now" could win best song at these Grammy awards? The single was released August of 2009. Don't get me wrong, I think it is an ok song. But why now?

Why the Hell did I watch the Grammys? FML.

Soccer Mom's in River Oaks.

Ever since I moved to the River Oaks area I have been shocked at the amount of people driving like they are mentally handicapped. These have to be successful intelligent people right? You have to own at least a shitty BMW 325i to be accepted inside the loop right?? LOOK AT ME I DRIVE A BMW I'M SMART AND SUCCESSFUL!

--Typical Style of Driving in River Oaks.


If you live in my part of town long enough you will see Mercedes swerving all over the road, Lexus SUVs driving 15 in a 45, and Porsches speeding through red lights. The majority of these fucking douchebag drivers are women... very stereotypical I know. No doubt they are on their cell phones arguing for more child support or making appointments at Urban Retreat to get a facial in between Sally's softball practice and Billy's next Tae Kwon Do class.

I honestly do not know how these idiots make it to work or put their own shoes on.